My contribution? I led the congregation in the Prohibition-era Starvation Army song:
We’re coming, we’re coming, our brave little band
On the right side of Temperance we now take our stand.
We don’t use tobacco because we do think
That the people who use it are likely to drink!
(chorus)
Away, away with rum by gum…the song of the Salvation Army!
We never eat fruitcake, because we do think
That the people who use it are likely to drink.
Oh, can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a man eating fruitcake until he gets tight!
(chorus)
Away, away with rum by gum…the song of the Salvation Army!
We never eat cookies, they’re made with yeast
And one little bite turns a man to a beast.
Oh, can you imagine a sadder disgrace
Than a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face?
In conclusion, let me state that “Sanity is for sissies; a he-man needs another beer!”
