Last year, myself and fellow author Tom Sandham spent two months visiting every brewery, beer bar and brewpub on the West Coast researching Good Beer Guide West Coast USA. These are some of the things we discovered.
America is very big, very big indeed… America is currently the most ambitious brewing nation in the world… American craft brews are big, bombastic and with bigger balls than Europe… For two lily-livered Limeys weaned on quaffable bitters, mellow milds and light-tasting lagers, America’s IPA infatuation was a shock to the system, but desire for hoppy beers soon enveloped our souls and senses like poison ivy…Visiting San Francisco during Extreme Beer Month was a schoolboy error for which we’re still paying in the shape of costly psychiatry sessions… The California Highway Patrol are not as friendly as they were in 1980s TV series CHiPs and don’t like it when you ask to touch their guns… Judging a Double IPA competition is a taste bud-trashing exercise in futility…There are no winners in the IBU arms race… Our lupulin love goes out to the IPAs of Green Flash, Alpine, Alesmith, Lagunitas, Bear Republic, Diamond Knot, Moonlight and Ninkasi, while Firestone Walker’s Pale Ale makes us dewy-eyed and nostalgic just thinking about it…When an American says a bar is “just down the road,” remember that American roads are much, much longer than British ones… Tijuana is naughty… Butt Crack Brown, Monkey Knife Fight Ale, Old Thunderpussy Barleywine and Willy were the most amusing beer names we encountered… After singing “Yellow Submarine” to fifty moody U.S. Marines in a San Clemente karaoke club, don’t criticise them for not singing along—just leave quickly… The nearest thing to a beer drinker’s Disneyland is McMenamins’ Edgefield… Surfing is harder than it looks… American craft beer can sometimes lack balance… In America, ‘double fisting’ is a term used to describe the ambidextrous manner in which a beer is held in each hand… It’s very difficult to look masculine in a cream-colored Chrysler Cruiser… It’s illegal to eat ice cream on the boardwalk in Carmel but, heck, we’re mavericks so we did it anyway… The beer-carrying receptacle known in America as a ‘growler’ means something completely different in England… A British accent goes a long way in the party towns of Walla Walla and Chico… At the fantastic Liar’s Club in San Diego, a massive man dubbed the “Polynesian Powerhouse” sunk three pints of Imperial stout in less than ten seconds… Whoever invented Los Angeles needs to have a long, hard look at themselves… F’crissake bar owners: TURN OFF THE TV… Portland rocks and we want to live there, and not just for the relaxed attitude to strip clubs… Where there’s hooch, there’s hope… We’re still disappointed that we’re not the first Brits to snigger our way through a pint at the Wanker’s Corner Pub in Oregon… A Pontiac gets ill if you pour 12 pints of water into its oil tank… Craftsman Brewery is casting delicious pearls before swine in Los Angeles… There’s not enough cask ale, but we didn’t miss it too much… You don’t have to be pierced in Seattle, but we reckon it may help… Motels lose their road trip romance after a while… Sam Samaniego, owner of the Stuffed Sandwich in L.A., likes Ronald Reagan more than he perhaps should… Vinnie at Russian River creates beauty from bugs and bacteria… San Luis Obispo is best visited on the first Thursday of the month… Hash browns and over-easy eggs is a breakfast gift that keeps on giving… There is such a thing as too much beer… One person driving while the other drinks and gives directions only works in theory… Craft brewers should send us Brits more of their beer… Shuffleboard is all in the wrist… Seattle coffee is why it’s so sleepless… The San Francisco Brewers Guild are lovely, lovely people… Americans have better teeth than we do…. At the Lucky 13 bar in San Francisco there’s a dog who drinks beer… And, no, I’m afraid we’ve never met the Queen.
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