Colorado
No beer may be sold on Election Day. Apparently, the state doesn’t want its citizens having too much fun in the voting booth. It is also illegal to ride a horse under the influence.
Iowa
In Ames, the law extends into your bedroom: it is strictly forbidden for a man to drink three or more sips of beer while he’s in bed with this wife. It is not clear, however, how much beer the wife is allowed. It is also illegal to run up a tab.
Alaska
“Sorry, Bullwinkle, but you’re cut off!” Our favorite law, making it illegal in Fairbanks to serve beer to a moose, was repealed decades ago. Now it’s no abuse to juice a moose.
Ohio
It is illegal to get a fish drunk. Just how one does this is a mystery.
Utah
No beer allowed above 4 percent ABV, and you may only order one beer at a time in a bar or restaurant.
Kentucky
It’s against the law to send a beer to anyone as a gift. The penalty? Up to five years in prison.
Missouri
You can’t sit on a curb in St. Louis and drink beer from a bucket. In the town of Natchez, no beer may be served to an elephant.
New Hampshire
Bars and restaurants cannot serve beer unless the patron is seated.
Oklahoma
The state that only repealed prohibition in 1959 still restricts the sale of beer stronger than 3.2 percent outside of state run liquor stores.
North Dakota
Selling beer and pretzels together in bars or restaurants is prohibited. Perhaps the state is concerned that the combo of brewers yeast, dough and salt will make you spontaneously combust?
Michigan
It’s illegal to sell beer on Christmas. Bah, humbug.
Massachusetts
In Woburn, it is illegal to walk around with a beer in your hand.
Pennsylvania
If you want to buy beer in stores, you have to buy it by the case through a distributor. Individual bottles or six packs can be purchased in bars and restaurants, but at a significant mark up.
Texas
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned because it contains the formula for making beer at home. [Oh, come on!—Ed] In Lefors, it is illegal to take three sips of beer while standing.
Nebraska
It is illegal for a bar to sell beer unless it is simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup. Does anyone ever order the soup?
But consider…
Apart from the elephant thing, Missouri has very relaxed alcohol laws. To wit, the state has no open container laws, no blue laws, no public intoxication laws and no dry counties. Parents and guardians may give their children alcohol, although purchase or possession of alcoholic beverages and intoxication by minors is illegal.
In Utah you can get stronger beer, but only in a state liquor store