First, we need to defuse the Reinheitsgebot. Despite the hype, it was not designed as a consumer protection law. It’s a tax-enforcement law. When hops and malt are the only brewing ingredients taxed, you have to force the brewers into using nothing else, pure and simple. Wheat beers were excluded because they were the exclusive right of royalty, and you don’t think they would be paying taxes would they? I’ll wait while you thumb your nose at the whole mess.

Second, it’s important to know that the Reinheitsgebot was a Bavarian law, not a German one, until 1878, some time after Bavaria joined the Union after Mad Ludwig bankrupted the state coffers building silly castles. The North had a rich tradition of beers more along the lines of Belgium before the great tide of Bavarian lager swept all into obscurity. A few—the wit-like gose comes to mind—have been revived, but for the most part the Germans are pathologically uncurious about their brewing past.

It is our right as Americans to seize on tidbits of history, jumble them up and put together whatever kind of story sounds best. So let’s get on with that and start thinking about the beery possibilities. Note that the quantities suggested are for five-gallon batches. All of these should be fermented conventionally with lager yeast and given a cold conditioning commensurate with their strength. Don’t forget the diacetyl rest, a couple of days at cellar temperatures to allow any excess diacetyl released by the yeast to be reabsorbed.